"The defect in this one is bleach."

To introduce my topic today, please enjoy the following video:

If you click on this, it'll take you to the video!

So I'm talking about milk.  That means that if dairy bores you or you're lactose intolerant, you best close this tab.
Ok, here's the deal.  BYU doesn't sell whole milk in their vending machines.  It's disgusting.  I mean that their lack of acceptance of all types of milks is disgusting... not whole milk itself.  Whole milk is delicious.  And when you're desperate to use money on your meal card of endless money, you only buy food from BYU.  So, I think complaining about the type of milk available to me is appropriate.

I also think that if I wasn't Mormon I would be an alcoholic or a coffee addict.  Because that is how much milk I drink.  I love it.  Specifically, chocolate milk.  They don't even sell chocolate milk that is not reduced fat!  What?!  You can put a bunch of sugar in your milk but not fat?

You may be asking why I even care.  First, if you are asking yourself that, then you shouldn't read my blog.  Second, I prefer my milk to taste like milk and not water.  Because water is gross and milk is yummy.  Skim milk is not only one or the other, it's a rotten hybrid of both.


And mixing up liquids is one of the worst feelings.

One time when I was little, I accidentally poured coffee all over my pancakes at IHOP instead of syrup.  A)  I don't like the smell of coffee, and the taste is even worse.  You can imagine my surprise.
B)  I obviously didn't eat the pancakes after, so don't judge me.

Ever went to drink your sprite, only to be disappointed by the extreme dullness of non-carbonated, sugarless H2O?  Yeah, it's like going to visit Santa Claus and being greeted by your middle school principal.  Nay, your middle school recess guard ladies.  Oh, mine were borderline evil.


Anyway, I eat a lot of cereal, and I love cookies!  However, I don't eat cereal with water (though I sometimes eat it with chocolate milk), and I don't dip my cookies in orange juice.  I think my Dad does, though.  But he's weird.
Some people say they can't tell a difference, but that's heresy.  Watery milk is not the same as milk.


Apart from the taste, BYU's milk options are like a giant face slap.  No, they're like a giant fat joke.  This is how the meeting went when BYU people were deciding to ban the wonderfulness that is whole milk:
Some guy: "The freshmen are getting a little chunky... maybe we should stop selling soda... or donuts?"
Other guy: "... I love donuts... No, that's too far.  I don't think anyone will notice if we just take away all the whole milk."
Guy 1: "Oh, you sly dog."

Well, you can't fool this girl!  Let's quit this caffeine petition business and make a push for whole milk!
Yeah, I know.  Nobody caught the vision.  Oh well.  I can go home and get my whole dairy.  And egg nog.  Egg nog is good.

Love, Kj

P.S.  IT IS SO STINKIN CLOSE TO CHRISTMAS!!!

This is my not election post

Unlike some people, I loved all the election posts!  However, seeing as I am still a minor and thus cannot vote, I feel my voice was not heard, so I cannot offer an opinion on the subject of the election.  Actually I can:  BOOOOOO.  That's all I have to say about that.

In other news, I received this interesting voicemail while I was at cheer the other day.  Take a listen:

It was from Tucson, where I once resided... like four years ago.  So that's weird.  But overall I just think it's weird.  Weird things happen to me.  Like this other weird thing... that I can't blog about... because people would get offended... so use your imagination.

Anyway, I called her/ him/ it back to schedule the play date, but I didn't get a reply.  I find that odd.  Just a word of advice:  if you call someone to set up a play date, and then they don't answer, so they call you back, but then you don't answer, then just text them.  It's easier.  And then if your voice sounds like this girl's (guy's?  dwarf's?), nobody has to listen to it. 

Ok, have a great night kiddos!!

Love, Kj

My Life is Awesome

But really.  After watching this, you might think I'm joking... but I really do love my life.  IT IS SO AWESOME! You don't need dates to love your life!  Dates just help...
Anyway, here is just a glimpse into why my life is so awesome.  With the help of my friend, Maria.  Congrats Marie, you got a blog shout out.

There is no way you have a better story of your Friday night...
No, not even you, Katy Perry.

Love, Kj

P.S.  We lied.  Instead of watching Netflix, we made this video for you all... and then we watched Netflix.